Jesus is in the vent, Mom!!

Funny Favorites

11/10/09
On Saturay, I invited my mother-in-law, and two sisters-in-law to a local craft holiday show. B asked me when Grandma was going to come pick us up, and I told him in about 15 minutes. Then, he asked where we were going. When I told him, this was his response: "So, you're going out to be girls again??"
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B is really big into sports lately - but mostly football. He had come home from "football practice" (some of the neighbor kids getting together to play) and was so excited to tell his dad about some of the plays during the game.

Then, he said, "Dad, you really gotta' get me hooked up with some sports! Really!"

10/28/09
Gavin was talking on the phone with his dad this morning and Brandon asked him, "So, Gavin, how's your life?" (See the Funny Favorite on 10/12/09 for why he asked that.)

Gavin replied, "Well, it's kind of huwt."

10/23/09
Gavin's supposed to eating his dinner, but he's in singing right now. "I wish that I could fly! I wish that I could fly! I wish that I could fly, fly, fly! I'd go up high in the sky, and then I could blow my whistle - ph, ph, ph . . . " (Imagine blowing on a whistle where the ball doesn't move.)

10/20/09
Says G: Mom, you know what? I got too much endergy. Do you know why? 'Cause I got too much food in my belly and down to my toes, and I got too much endergy.
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Gavin was in the tub this afternoon playing with two boats - a red one and a blue one. All of a sudden, he says, "Mom, I wish my legs were blue, and my head and arms and stuff was red."

10/12/09
Brandon called me this morning from school and after we had finished talking, Gavin wanted to talk to Daddy. So, he gets on the phone and says, "Hi, Daddy. So, how's your life?"
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Gavin wanted to take a picture of me with my tongue out this morning. When I stuck my tongue out at him, he put the camera up to his face, then said, "Wow! You're doing good!"

10/6/09
This morning on the way to school, the boys were noticing the frost on the rooftops and the grass. Gavin knew what he was talking about, but didn't know what the frost was called, so he called it "frice."
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A few days ago, we went to the tennis courts to watch Brandon & his brother play a match. Gavin and I were playing around, poking and tickling each other. I looked at him and said, "Gavin, I'm gonna beat you up!"

His reply?? "Oh yeah, Mom. Bring it on!!"
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We went down to Salt Lake the other day to do some last minute baby shopping. We couldn't find sitters for all of the boys, so we took them with us. We were explaining something to them, when Gavin said, "I know. You don't have to tell me. I know everything."

Who says that teenagers know everything? Apparantely, so do 4 year olds!

9/16/09
G: Mom, am I still four?
Mom: Yes.
G: Well, I have a lot of food in my tummy, so I think I'm seven.
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Says Gavin, "Mom, when the baby gets borned, like all the way borned, and Santa comes, I hope he brings me a tuba, and a walk-a-le-le (ukelele) for Braden!

8/23/09
Brandon opened up a can of Spaghetti-O's tonight for the boys to try for dinner. Gavin kept asking what it smelled like and Brandon replied that it smelled like spaghetti. Gavin said that he wanted to smell it, so he leaned down and sniffed.

Then, he sat back, wrinkled up his nose and said, "Ew. That smells like dog food!"

Says Brandon, "You don't even know what dog food smells like," Gavin changed his statement to, "Oh, yeah, actuully, it smells like cat food!"

8/10/09
One of the boys favorite snacks is cinnamon toast. Gavin isn't sure what to call my cinnamon/sugar mix, so when he wanted a cinnamon toast the other day, he asked me if I could put sparkles on his toast!

3/24/09
Tonight, Gavin was bouncing around instead of sitting still at the table and eating his dinner. I got fed up with it, so finally said, "Gavin, sit still or I'm going to tie you to the chair with a rope."

His response????"Okay, Mom!!! Tie me to the chair!"

Then, when I didn't/wouldn't tie him to the chair, he got MAD at me! "Mom, I said tie me to the chair! NOW!"

Cute little stinker.

3/16/09
Today, Gavin was sitting on my lap giving me kisses. Then, he got a mischievous look in his eyes . . . and LICKED me!! Yuck! So, I got him off my lap and told him I was done playing, and that we don't lick people.He sat there for a minute looking at me, and then said, "Well, Mom, will you lick me?"
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Gavin asked to feel my forehead today, so I let him and asked if I was sick. He replied, "Yep, you have a feber, and you go like this - *cough, cough*"Brandon was sitting at the computer, so I told Gavin to tell Dad what was wrong with me, so he said, "Dad, Mom has a feber and she goes *cough, cough* like that. But she won't die!"

2/24/09
Last night, I bought Gavin some workbooks to help him learn his letter, number, shapes . . . The older boys saw them this morning, and went and dug out their workbooks. They said that they were doing research.

So, as I was taking the boys to school this morning, Gavin was looking at his book and said, "'Ccording to my research . . . mumble, mumble, mumble . . ."

Then Braden said, "That's makes sense, Gavin, 'cause according to my research, pizza, popcorn, and peas are good for you. But, not pie - no way!! Pie's not good for you. And cookies - not so much."

2/23/09
Gavin's new favorite sayings are, "If you say so" and "Would ya look at that?"

2/22/09
Last night, Brandon & I went in to check on the kids before we went to bed. As we were laying an extra blanket on Gavin, he woke up, looked around, and then said, very sleepily, "Dad, don't be right there!"

2/20/09
This morning, I showed Gavin that he can hang his coat up in the "new" coat closet, and his response was, "Okay! I can hang my coat up. This is gonna be amazing!"

2/19/09
Gavin was helping Brandon fix the closet in the hallway today, and they were talking about how nice it was to have a helper and what a good helper Gavin is.

Gavin then said, "Yeah, I'm you'w helpe! And, we're emenies, huh, Dad?"

Brandon says, "What? We're enemies?"

G says, "Yeah. We're emenies. You know, that shoots the bad guys?"
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A few minutes after the "emenies" statement, Brandon was drilling some boards into the wall to make a coat hanger for the boys. The drill slipped (or something) and Brandon said, "Oh, geez."

"Yeah, oh geez," says Gavin! "I wish I didn't dood that."

2/9/09
At school, the boys are learning some dances in their PE class - Scott a cha-cha (sort of), and B a waltz. I asked them if they wanted to go to their Dance Night, and they both said, "NO!" B then went on to say, "I hate dancing. It's like getting married."
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A few minutes after B's declaration of hating dancing, I kissed Brandon. The boys covered their eyes saying, "Ew!" So, I said something along the lines of, "What? It's just a kiss." Brandon went on with other terms to describe kissing - smooching, macking, making out, lip smacking . . .

Poor Scottie was apparantely just absolutely grossed out, and yelled, "Would you stop saying those things?"

1/16/09
Tonight, Brandon & I were talking about the Jordin Sparks song called "God Loves Ugly." The boys overheard us, and said, "God Loves Ugly????"

So, I was explaining that the song means that no matter what you look like - tall or short, really, really pretty, or not so pretty, thin or big - God loves everybody.

Braden heard the "thin or big" part and said, "Oh, you mean big, like a when blowfish puffs up??? That kind of big?"

1/13/09
When Gavin needs help wiping his bottom, he'll call us - "Mom, I'm done." Or, "Dad, I'm done."

So, today, he called me, "Mom, I'm done."

I went in to help him out, and when I walked in, he said, "Actually, I am'nt done!"

1/12/09
Tonight, when Brandon asked Gavin to go to the bathroom before bedtime, Gavin replied with, "I don't want to."

Says Brandon, "Gavin, go in and go potty, right now!

Says Gavin, "I alweady did . . . last night!!!"
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We signed the older boys up for tumbling, and tonight was their first night. The teacher asked Scott what his name was.

So, Scott replied, "Scott Garrett Shaffer."

Says the teacher, "Oh, Scott Garrett Shaffer. Ok."

Says Scottie, "You can just call me Scott if you want to!"

12/25/08
Every gift that Braden opened this morning that he approved of, was followed by him saying, "Suh-weet!!"
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This morning, when Gavin saw the Go, Diego, Go scooter that Santa brought him, he looked at it, in disgust, and said, "That's not what I wanted!
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Santa brought a guitar for Scottie - just what he's been wanting. We were recording the boys, and Brandon asked Scott what Santa had brought him. Scott replied, in an almost reverential voice, "I got a guitar. It's very special to me!"
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We've been fighting the stomach flu at our house for the past couple of weeks, and last night it was Scott's turn.

So, last night, we were getting ready to read the Christmas story in Luke, and "Twas the Night Before Christmas" and he said in this sad, little voice, "Mom, I don't think I'm going to be able to celebrate anything tomorrow!"

12/22/08
A couple of weeks ago, Braden and Gavin got out our pop beads and made me some necklaces, bracelets, earrings, rings - you name it, they made it. As Gavin was putting a bracelet around my wrist, he said, "Mom, we're dectorationing you! You're all dectorated!"

12/8/08
When Gavin is hungry or thirsty, he'll come up to me or Brandon and say, "I'm hungwy of some bwead." Or, "I'm thiwsty of some wat-uh!"

We've tried saying back to him, "Oh, you're thirsty FOR some water," and he just says back, "Yes, I'm thiwsty OF some wat-uh!"

12/7/08
This evening, Gavin was helping me make some mac 'n' cheese for the boys, and he wanted to stir it all up. So, I gave him the spoon and went to call the boys for dinner. As I walked away, I heard Gavin take a BIG breath, and then say, "Ok, here goes nothin'!!"

11/24/08
Gavin fell down this morning as we were getting out of the van, so I scooped him up to carry him inside. As I was walking, he says, "Mom, ow! You're hurting myself."

11/17/08
This was back in September, but it's just too cute not to put on my funny favorites! Enjoy, again!

Says Gavin as we're walking up the stairs, his hands full of toys: "Mom can you scratch my bum? No, not there! Right here. Yeah, right there. Ahh, thanks Mom."

Me (laughing): "You're welcome!!"

Him: "That was bery nice of you to scratch my bum!"

11/13/08
Says Gavin, "Bwaden, you'we the "S" word!"

Braden gasps, 'cause he knows to call someone Stupid is wrong.

Says Gavin, "What? I didn't say Stupid! *GASP* Oops!"
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On our trip to Yellowstone this summer, as we're driving through Newton, UT:

Says Braden, "Look at the beautiful field, Mom! That looks like a nice place to have a war! Mom, is that where the people of Newton have their wars?"

So, a few weeks ago, we sat on a bench in church that was next to an air return vent. Gavin kept going over to the vent and saying, "Mom, Jesus is in the vent!" He repeated that over and over again before I could finally get him to listen to me telling him that saying that was kind of irreverant. I told him that we could feel His spirit, but that it was highly unlikely that Jesus was in the vent.

Fast forward to today. We sat on that same bench, when Braden says, "Hey, Mom! There's a picture of Jesus in the vent." So, I go look, and sure enough, there He is. (I'm assuming that some little child - probably mine, to be honest - put that picture in the vent and it will stay there for the rest of time!)

So, now I understand why Jesus is in the vent!